Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Buyer and Seller meets.
Constant_Change
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Constant_Change » Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:26 pm

Bukas ang schedule ng abortion ko kay miss shine update ko kayo pagkatapos sana maging successful din ang abortion ko.

ayogoyangdumang
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:59 pm

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by ayogoyangdumang » Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:32 pm

Constant_Change wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:26 pm
Bukas ang schedule ng abortion ko kay miss shine update ko kayo pagkatapos sana maging successful din ang abortion ko.
Hi sis goodluck sayo bukas update me ha kapag okey ka na kay miss shine din kase ako pupunta.

Constant_Change
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Constant_Change » Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:37 pm

ayogoyangdumang wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:32 pm
Constant_Change wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:26 pm
Bukas ang schedule ng abortion ko kay miss shine update ko kayo pagkatapos sana maging successful din ang abortion ko.
Hi sis goodluck sayo bukas update me ha kapag okey ka na kay miss shine din kase ako pupunta.
Yes sis magbibigay ako ng update dito pagkatapos ng abortion ko kila miss shine.

ayogoyangdumang
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:59 pm

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by ayogoyangdumang » Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:45 pm

Constant_Change wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:37 pm
ayogoyangdumang wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:32 pm
Constant_Change wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:26 pm
Bukas ang schedule ng abortion ko kay miss shine update ko kayo pagkatapos sana maging successful din ang abortion ko.
Hi sis goodluck sayo bukas update me ha kapag okey ka na kay miss shine din kase ako pupunta.
Yes sis magbibigay ako ng update dito pagkatapos ng abortion ko kila miss shine.
Sis pwede bang makuha number mo?

Rhimes
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Rhimes » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:56 am

TO ALL WHO SEEK ABORTION HELP IN THE PHILIPPINES:

Are you HESITANT to send your hard-earned money to a probable scammer who WON’T send you the medicines or if he/she does then DOUBTFUL that the medicines could be ORIGINAL or the COMPLETE and RIGHT dosage necessary for your medical abortion?

Are you WORRIED that the medicines you will buy from the person you are going to MEET-UP in some alley or mall are NOT genuine and might cause WORSE problems to you such as an incomplete abortion, septicaemia, drug overdose, poisoning, infection, uterine rupture, etc. that could get you into the nearest Emergency Room (ER) or cause cancer in the future?

If you want your medicines delivered through LBC or another courier service are you afraid that the package will be ILLEGAL and therefore confiscated with you ARRESTED?

Are you GULLIBLE enough to be FOOLED into buying NON-STANDARD abortion drugs from people who claim to have abortion drugs but can’t get STANDARD & FIRST-LINE abortion drugs Mifepristone (RU-486, “The Abortion Pill”, etc.) and Misoprostol (Cytotec, etc.), or by others who claim to have original pure Misoprostol brands such as Cytotec but can’t give you the COMPULSORY Mifepristone THAT IS DEFINITELY NEEDED to be used TOGETHER WITH Misoprostol (Cytotec) for the highest effectiveness possible, or ask you to take TOXIC DOSES of Cortal, Ascorbic Acid (Vit. C), Quinine, etc., or unknown herbal capsules?

Are you scammed into believing that those medicines without proper foil packaging (and coming only in envelopes) is Mifepristone or Methergin (Methylergometrine) usually called “Pampahilab” by street vendors who sell fakes and would rather prefer a prescription from a licensed doctor to buy the ORIGINAL Methergin from Mercury Drug stores for just P25/tablet?

Are you made to believe wrong things by sellers who aren’t doctors so that you will buy from them, some of them aggressively pestering you because they are more desperate than you.

Are you one of those BUSY people who do not have time to read old posts in these forums oh so FULL of SIMILAR and REPETITIVE advertisements from some old timers who have been successfully scamming and making fake testimonial posts to further their falsely earned credibility?

Do you want DOCTORS (Obstetricians, Gynaecologists, Internists, Surgeons, Anaesthesiologists, Emergency Physicians, etc.) YOU COULD VISIT AND VERIFY in their hospitals and clinics for your PROPER abortion information, PROPER abortion drugs, and PROPER abortion surgeries?

Do you want an Emergency Medicine specialized doctor to monitor you for FREE via cell phone/landline or even personally while you take your PROPER abortion drugs and UNTIL your goal is achieved?

Do you want your surgical procedure done in a hospital Operating Room (OR) with doctors instead of some manghihilot (“witch doctor”) in a makeshift clinic or house with who knows who?

Do you want to visit a licensed Obstetrician-Gynaecologist and get a FREE consultation and know what’s best for you BEFORE you pay anything for medicines or any surgery?

Are you afraid of non-standard or wrongly done abortion procedures by people claiming to be doctors but can’t show proof that they are.

Do you want your surgical procedure to have an Anesthesiologist who will just put you to sleep with general/spinal anesthesia instead of the local anesthesia by others that will keep you awake with pain still felt even though they say it’s painless?

Do you want to SLEEP WELL at night, WORK WELL during your working hours, and NOT WORRY about this abortion problem as it has now become the problem of your doctor you consulted personally and NOT yours anymore?

THEN you need to contact the secretary of that group of Philippine doctors at any of the ff. nos. (choose your network):

ZERO NINE TWO SEVEN – EIGHT FIVE FOUR – THREE EIGHT FIVE ONE (Globe)

ZERO NINE TWO EIGHT – NINE THREE ZERO - THREE ONE FOUR TWO (Smart)

ZERO NINE TWO TWO - NINE FOUR ZERO - ZERO THREE ONE THREE (Sun)

Thinker
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:24 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Thinker » Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:28 am

MY ABORTION STORY.

"I DID NOT WRITE THIS ARTICLE TO ENCOURAGE ABORTION, IF YOU ARE HAVING THE SAME SITUATION RIGHT NOW, I HOPE YOU MAKE A BETTER DECISION."

DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON FAKE PILLS ON THE INTERNET.


"It happened September 2014. My long-time boyfriend invited me to their family event. After that we went to the mall, sneaked out, then did it. It was unplanned. "


We are in a long distance relationship. Not very far from Manila but his financial status hindered us from seeing each other often. We're lucky if we see each other once a month. This situation of us made us miss each other very much that's why (you know).

Few days after we did it, I had thick "white mens." I wasn't bothered that much thinking it was just white mens although the texture is really different. Little did I know that I was already ovulating. (Read here)

It happened September 2014. My long-time boyfriend invited me to their family event. After that we went to the mall, sneaked out, then did it. It was UNPLANNED. Since it was unplanned, I took the so called "morning after pill" to prevent getting pregnant. As said in the internet, I took 4 caps then another 4 after 12 hours. I felt nauseous as usual. It is not the first time I took this.

The PILL (Nordette) did not work.

Before I found out I was pregnant, there were many days of stress, fear, anxiousness, disbelief, everything! I was crazily hoping that my mens will soon come. I didn't worry too much in the beginning because I have irregular cycle but it came to a point that I already know to myself that something was wrong, that the delay is too much.

It came to a point that I told my self I have to end this stress. I can no longer sleep during those times because of too much worrying. I finally had the courage to buy my self a pregnancy test. I cried and prayed hard the night before I did the test. Prayed to God to please give me a negative, so I won't have to do anything worse.

POSITIVE. My life crumbled into pieces as I stared to the kit hopelessly. Asking myself why? The feeling was surreal. I cried a lake. I am officially carrying a life within me.

I told my boyfriend the result. He was as stressed as I am. I was really really sad and hurt. The decision to keep or not to keep our child has to be made the soonest - and it will solely be my call. He loves me, and will not leave me no matter what. He do not want to abort our child, he didn't instruct me to do anything. He was just waiting for my decision, ready to support me despite his financial issues. Sadly, even before I took that test, I already have a decision. I CAN'T.

We were both graduating during that time. I'm already there. In just a few months, i'll be done, I can't stop. My family has already planned a gallant party and invited many relatives from here and abroad. I CANNOT FAIL MY PARENTS. I really can't. I can just imagine what heartbreak they will have if I break this to them after all the bragging they made about me.

Another thing is that, it was really unplanned. I love kids but I still don't want to have one. I don't have a job yet, I don't have savings yet. I don't want to bring a child to this world just to be a heavier burden to my family. Even though we are well of, I wouldn't do such. I know my parents, they will hate me, curse me (who wouldn't?), and I don't want to carry my child with all that negativity around.

BAD LUCK. The pill didn't work that is why I got pregnant. Everything was just so wrong. If I were to have a child, I wouldn't want this to be the reason.

After the test, I still kinda hope the result was wrong so I went to an OB-Gyne to have an ultrasound. Then poof! Yes, there was my tadpole. It's really very official i'm pregnant and I won't keep it. So what's next? I have to have a solution the soonest.

I browsed that internet. Tons of abortion stories, threads, etc. Learned that there are 2 types of abortion, by medicine and by surgery. Of course I preferred the one by medicine. I searched for sellers and found this site. It looks legit. Unlike those sellers in threads where they are accusing each other as scammers.

BE WARNED, I BOUGHT A FAKE PILL from that site. It cost me 4995 for 1 kit if I remember it right. It was sent to me in a sealed bottle of a supplement. I prepared pain relievers before the night i planned to take it. "Bahala na si God," told myself.

I didn't feel the "moderate to very painful cramps" as said on the websites. I had hot flushes (like fever), but then I was able to sleep normally after taking it. No pains whatsoever. The next day, I woke up, no pains still. I went straight to the bathroom. sat in the toilet. Some blood clots came out. I THOUGHT IT WORKED.

After that, I really thought my nightmare was done. I was okay again (not okay but better), but few weeks later, I always feel bloated and I am feeling something weird in my lower abdomen. Its not pain, the feeling is really weird. So I went to a clinic to have an ultrasound again and to my horror, IT'S STILL THERE.

I was stunned when I saw my child. I didn't want to believe my eyes. It's like asking are you sure?? Even though its right in front of my face. I cannot believe it's still there.

It was really painful to see it still there. After what I did, it is so eager to live. It hurts me so much to think that I have tried killing my child and will have to try to do it again. I held back my tears as I leave the clinic.

That day was bizarre. I cried an ocean. My conscience is killing me but I can't keep it. I can't keep my child but I don't want to kill it anymore. The pain and stress is too great.

Now I have to make another solution. I texted the seller of the fake pill. I told him it didn't work. He offered a discounted "higher dose" of pills. I don't think it's gonna work either. I am now looking to surgical abortion.

I browsed about surgical abortion. I found this thread about "Fredli's group," they claimed they are doctors who performs surgical abortion. Looks promising but i'm really scared. I know this is a very sensitive surgery and can be fatal if performed by non-professionals. I emailed them to know the price. 20k atleast.

LUCKILY, I have a friend who helped me find a solution. He introduced me to a Non-governmental Organization which helps girls like me. I talked to them and told them my situation. They kinda refrain helping me at first because they said they refuse pregnancies more than 12 weeks. But in the end, the agreed to helped me.

They scheduled me for a surgical abortion. So I went there. The place was nice. It doesn't look hell. They were nice to me and they were professionals. They gave me pain relievers before the surgery.

IT WAS PAINFUL. Not purely pain, there is this unknown weird feeling along. It was painful but it is nothing compared to what my child has experienced. I deserved that pain.

After that, they were not totally satisfied with what they got so they gave me an abortion pill which I should take at home. This is to ensure that everything will be flushed out.

They scheduled me for a follow-up check up few weeks after that. During the check-up, they made me take preg test and... NEGATIVE. They also gave me contraceptive shot good for 3 months.

ALL OF THAT FOR ONLY 7K. They want to help, not to earn.

That sums up the worst moment of my life.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To my angel,

I'm sorry I have to do this. You know I love you. God knows how hard it is for me to do this. I hope you come back the right time. God will take care of you now. Mama and Papa love you forever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I WROTE THIS TO WARN YOU, YOU ARE LOST IN THE MOMENT LIKE ME DURING THAT TIME.
YOU ARE VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW.
DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON FAKE PILLS ON THE INTERNET.

ABORTION IS A DECISION YOU WILL CARRY IN YOUR HEART FOREVER.
A SIN THAT WILL SCAR YOUR SOUL.

IF YOU CAN, KEEP YOUR CHILD.

NO AMOUNT OF MONEY, SHAME OR DIGNITY
WILL AMOUNT TO YOUR CHILD'S LIFE.

Constant_Change
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Constant_Change » Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:51 am

FIRST: THANK YOU SO MUCH sa team nyo miss shine dahil sa inyo nalutas ang aking problema.

SECOND: 2 months yung pinaabort ko at D&C PROCEDURE yung ginawa sakin.

THIRD: PAINLESS yung D&C PROCEDURE dahil may ginamit na anesthesia.

FOURTH: MALINIS, MAAYOS at MAGANDA yung place nila miss shine dahil nasa subdivision area.

FIFTH: MABAIT at MAASIKASO ang team nila miss shine kahit marami kang tanong hindi sila nakukulitan bagkus naiintindihan ka pa nila.

SIXTH: Nakalibre ako sa RECOVERY MEDS thank you talaga sa team nyo miss shine.

SEVENTH: PROVEN and TESTED na sila miss shine kaya sila ang dapat nyong lapitan.

EIGHTH: MAG INGAT sa mga manloloko.

NINTH: Mas SURE and SAFE ang SURGICAL ABORTION kaysa sa MEDICAL ABORTION.

TENTH: SORRY BABY sana mapatawad mo si mommy.

Thinker
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:24 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Thinker » Sat Jun 22, 2019 8:39 am

ABORTION INFORMATION:

SIDE EFFECTS, SAFETY OR HEALTH RISKS OF ABORTION.

1. Are these surgical methods safe for the mother's life and health?

No abortion method is completely safe and sound. Abortion by suction runs the risk of infection, perforation of the uterus and hemorrhage if an abdominal organ is wounded. The risk increases when the D & C and D & E techniques are used.

The intraamniotic injection could produce toxic substance to the circulatory system of the mother. Hemorrhage, infection, anesthesia complications, shock and cervical laceration may come from hysterotomy.

“Occurrence of genital tract infection following elective abortion is a well-known complication" (Johns Hopkins University Reports since 1977).

“One sequel to abortion can be a killer. This is pelvic abscess, almost always from a perforation of the uterus and sometimes also of the bowel” (Gassner & Ballard, U.C.L.A., 1977).

Those who perform abortion seldom mention the complications related to the procedure. They exploit the women by making them believe that raspa (abortion) is as simple as “providing an injection.” They do not say anything about the after-effects on her as they totally ignore her “tiny passenger.”

2. Can abortion cause death?

Maternal death is also reportedly caused by surgical abortion, but mostly by the so-called "backyard abortion" by non-medical personnel or hilots. In the Philippines, abortion is illegal, hence backyard abortions are rampant.

The procedures in abortion such as the insertion of a catheter or other foreign bodies, especially those done at home or outside the hospital, explain the risks of death.

It is true that mortality is not high and complications are not very frequent in surgical abortion (there are maternal deaths and complications though), no abortion is completely safe for the mother.

Death caused by surgical abortion is not always reported for the following reasons:

Abortion is illegal in the Philippines. If caught, the abortionist will lose his license as a physician and may be jailed for murder. An abortionist who follows a patient who dies from the procedure would perpetually hide the fact.

Consider the mother who has profuse bleeding after an abortion. She was transfused with blood, got hepatitis, and died months later. It is at times recorded that the official cause of death is hepatitis. But the actual cause is abortion.

A perforated uterus leads to pelvic abscess, sepsis (related to blood poisoning) and death. The hospital report of the cause of death may list pelvic abscess and septicemia. In most records, abortions are not mentioned.

Abortion can cause tubal pathology. She has an ectopic pregnancy years later and dies. The official report will list the cause of death as ectopic pregnancy and not abortion.

Another doctor, unable to save the life of an abortion victim, feels that she and her family have been suffering enough. He does not list abortion on the death certificate in order to prevent further malicious talk in the community.

Guilt feeling and extreme depression following an abortion leads to suicide. What is reported is suicide as the cause of death. (See Wilke & Wilke, Handbook on Abortion, Hayes Publishing Co., Inc. 1979.).

3. What are the side effects of abortion on subsequent pregnancies?

One possible effect of abortion is habitual miscarriage or spontaneous abortion. After an induced abortion, a woman—more often than not—does have spontaneous abortion and continues to have habitual miscarriage in later pregnancies. A high incidence of cervical incompetence resultant from abortion has raised the incidence of spontaneous abortions (A. Kodasek).

Those with induced abortion on their first pregnancies had “the highest frequency of late spontaneous abortion and premature delivery” (Koller & Eikham, Acta OB-GYN Scand, 1977).

Another side effect is sterility. It becomes harder to get pregnant in the future once an abortion is done. Evidence points out that abortion often reduces a woman's future re- productive faculty. “Roughly 25% of the women who interrupt their first pregnancy have remained permanently childless” (Dr. Bohumil Stipal, 1974).

Especially striking is an increase in ectopic, tubal or extrauterine pregnancies on women who have had abortion (A. Kodasek).

4. What are the side effects of abortion to the woman's psychic?

Besides the physical pain of abortion itself, there is present (almost always) emotional trauma and spiritual pain.

Emotional trauma because every infant that she sees is a reminder of what might have been. There is depression as the woman realizes that she has destroyed a new life. Terrible loneliness just traps the aborted woman. Sometimes, the result is a hardening of the maternal instinct.

Spiritual pain because there is growing awareness of the reality of sin. Some women wonder if God will ever forgive them. They cannot pray. They do not feel the same when they enter the Church. These women find it difficult to be reconciled with themselves and with God. In snuffing out life, they find it hard to celebrate life.

Abortion violates something very fundamental in being a woman. She is normally the giver of life. Abortion is often described as freeing a woman from the trauma of unwanted pregnancy. The irony is that post-abortion trauma is greater and more painful. A psychological price is always paid.

"It is easier to scrape the baby out of the mother's womb than to scrape the memory of the baby out of her mind" (Wilke & Wilke).

A most common post-abortion syndrome is suicide. 80% of these women know little of fetal development at the time of abortion.

5. In the Philippines, how many abortion cases do we have?

Last quarter of the year 2010 witnessed the many pictures of fetuses found in garbage bins, toilets, airports, churches, etc.

In our country, there are as many as 750,000 abortions every year (Philippine Daily Inquirer, October 8, 1990). In his address before the World Health Organization in Manila, Dr. Martin de la Rosa estimated the annual number of abortions to 762,000 (Manila Bulletin, September 6, 1987). Fr. Paul Marx of the Human Life International estimated one million abortions under the martial law population control program. It means that there are about 2,500 abortions happening every day. That means, “1 out of 4 pregnancies in Metro Manila end in abortion.”

Outside the hospitals, the common way of inducing abortion is by inserting a catheter or any slender, flexible tube into the uterus to cause the destruction of the child. The procedure is followed by an abdominal massage or hilot. Afterwards, the use of some herbs or medicinal concoctions is prescribed.

Some 15% of abortion cases in our country were done by the mothers themselves or what is known as self-induced abortion. Most preferred to go to the hilots (46%), the rest were induced by either midwives and doctors (Dra. A. V. Valenzuela).

Constant_Change
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 12:38 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Constant_Change » Sat Jun 22, 2019 8:44 am

ayogoyangdumang wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:45 pm
Constant_Change wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:37 pm
ayogoyangdumang wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:32 pm
Hi sis goodluck sayo bukas update me ha kapag okey ka na kay miss shine din kase ako pupunta.
Yes sis magbibigay ako ng update dito pagkatapos ng abortion ko kila miss shine.
Sis pwede bang makuha number mo?
Yes sis pwede pm ko nalang sayo dito.

Thinker
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:24 am

Re: Who knows an Abortion Clinic in Philippines?

Post by Thinker » Sat Jun 22, 2019 8:50 am

ABORTION INFORMATION:

Abortion is illegal in the Philippines. A Filipina recounts what she went through in search for a safe abortion. Illustration by CHE BANTAYAN

Manila (CNN Philippines Life) — I had unprotected sex with a man I met during one night out, after eight tequila shots to be exact.

He didn’t come anywhere near me, so I felt safe. I was not on birth control pills, however, so to be sure, I took four Yasmin pills at 5 p.m. the following day and another four tablets of Yasmin 12 hours later. This four-and-four birth control tablet-taking is known to be an alternative for “Plan B” since the actual Plan B tablet is not available in the Philippines. This method is said to be most effective when done within 72 hours after unprotected sex.

For the unfamiliar, the Plan B pill is a morning-after pill that is meant to lower your chance of getting pregnant after engaging in unprotected sex. Emergency contraceptives are already available in most countries, which women can get over-the-counter or without needing prescription, depending on the nation’s laws. The Philippines is joined by countries like North Korea, UAE, Sudan, East Timor, and Western Sahara, among others, in the list of countries where morning-after pills are outlawed.

After a bit of research, sifting through online forums, reddit, WebMD, and all other not entirely reputable websites, I read one user saying that Yasmin used as a four-and-four emergency pill is not backed by research, and only certain birth control pills (those with the hormones ethinyl estradiol and levonorgestrel; Yasmin had drospirenone and ethinyl estradiol) can be used for this method.

In the ‘70s, when emergency pills were not yet available, women all over would use this method, which they called the Yuzpe method. But again, it is only effective when taking certain brands. In the Philippines, according to my friends and friends who are doctors, what can be used for the Yuzpe method are Trust pills.

After learning that Yasmin may not be effective, I panicked. I suddenly retraced every sexual position that boy and I had. I wrote every single detail of where his penis was based on my memory: in my mouth, inside my vagina, around my hand, in my mouth, on my face, inside my vagina, around my hand. My neurosis went a little bit too far that I convinced myself I might be pregnant. I knew I had to do something about the situation so I self-diagnosed (not recommended) and thought that maybe if I take 12 tablets of Trust pills I would be safe.

So I did. And then the next day, in a wave of new panic, I took another, and then another. After five days, I would have already taken 32 pills thanks to my growing paranoia.

I cried almost everyday, I was almost always dazed at work and would walk around the city staring at nothing in particular. I felt helpless but also firm in my knowledge that a baby at this point in my life was not what I wanted, much less needed.
I called a friend who’s a doctor and told her what happened. I asked if I should continue taking birth control pills everyday since I was still sort of seeing the boy. She told me that I should take it normally, which is one pill a day. Essentially, I had 32 pills in my system and then started taking one pill a day. Again, to be really safe.

Two weeks later, I felt so many changes in my body. My breasts were heavier, I felt bloated, I think I may have seen spotting at some point (sometimes I’m not sure anymore if I was being delusional). I took a pregnancy test but it was too early for the test to show any credible conclusion. But just to appease myself, I took a pregnancy test every single day. I’m pretty sure the lady at the pharmacy thought I was too eager to have a baby because I would always buy one with a big smile on my face to hide my anxiety.

Ten pregnancy tests later, my breasts were starting to feel really tender and so I was convinced I had a fetus growing in my uterus. At this point, I knew I didn’t want to have a baby and I also knew I needed to know the next steps for terminating the pregnancy. It may sound as though it was an easy resolve, but trust me, I cried almost everyday, I was almost always dazed at work and would walk around the city staring at nothing in particular. I felt helpless but also firm in my knowledge that a baby at this point in my life was not what I wanted, much less needed.

Abortion it is, I thought.

Every night before sleeping, I read stories online of how women went through with it, what they felt afterwards, and how they coped with it. I looked at lists of celebrities who have owned their abortions and thought maybe I can also be like them, be an advocate someday.

I chanced upon the website womenonwaves.org, which is a Dutch organization that assists women who want abortions across the globe. They have another website called womenonweb.org where they detail support systems that women can get in their home countries — from women’s rights groups to women-centric health clinics. Their service also includes sending abortive pills to countries where it is not available.

I clicked on the Philippines and there came a deluge of stories from Filipinas who shared their experiences. There’s one story where she got her abortive pills through this website, and did the procedure alone in her apartment. There’s one story saying that she got an abortion with the help of a local nonprofit group. There’s another story about aborting herself through herbs, massaging, and “other methods.” The Filipinas had different ways and tales, but they almost all felt the same: confused, helpless, guilty, sad, fearful.

I once went to an OB-GYN at a prominent medical center here and it was as though even talking about contraceptive pills was appalling. I could sense the doctor’s judgment when I asked about copper IUD as an emergency method. “I don’t recommend it,” she said bluntly and moved on.
It is heart-wrenching to read their confessions, the struggles and dark depths that women have to go through just to have a choice, not made easier by the conditioned guilt and shame. I, for one, even if I wasn’t sure if I were indeed pregnant, pictured all the judgment, the brokenheartedness that I felt I had to feel because I planned to terminate a pregnancy. I went so far as feeling that maybe I am evil and that I was just meant to rot in hell.

This whole ordeal was even more torturous because I didn’t know who to talk to because again of the shame, the crippling embarrassment of feeling stupid enough to not use a condom, and of feeling callous enough to resolve to have an abortion.

I wanted a plan in place. I told myself that the moment I miss my period and I test positive, I wanted to know the exact next steps so I could just be on autopilot and get on with it. After finding Women On Waves, I listed down my options:

Plan A: Go to all the health clinics that were listed on the website and hope that they can point me towards a safe abortionist. I read that there is a group of underground doctors who do this work.

Plan B: Buy the abortive pills online. The website looks sketchy but the information on how to DIY abortion via pills is well-detailed.

Plan C: Go to Cambodia, to Marie Stopes International hospital to be exact, and do the procedure there. It’s legal in Cambodia and I should be taken care of properly by those trained for it. A big con obviously is the cost of having to go there.

Plan A was a dud, but mainly because I got so scared and ashamed. I called one of the organizations listed on womenonwaves.org, then asked if I could be assisted regarding a query I had about emergency pills (I was so terrified to even ask about abortion). This women’s organization then referred me to a clinic (which happen to also be on the Women on Waves website). I went to one of the health clinics and told them about the excess pills I took..

The people in the clinic were very accommodating. I didn’t feel judged at all. I once went to an OB-GYN at a prominent medical center here and it was as though even talking about contraceptive pills was appalling. I could sense the doctor’s judgment when I asked about copper IUD as an emergency method. “I don’t recommend it,” she said bluntly and moved on.

This health clinic, however, was very patient with me. I felt safe talking about every single thing that happened with the guy and my worry of being pregnant. I was hoping the suggestion of an abortion will come from them, from one of the nurses, but of course, the A word didn’t come out from either of our mouths.

After that encounter, I thought that getting any Filipino organization or individual is probably a bad idea. It’s just an added anxiety to me — what are they thinking about my decision? Should I get an abortion, will they tell anybody? Why should I trust them?

So I proceeded to work on Plan B, the website selling abortive pills. What happens is you message the number they advertise on their website about your request. I asked how much it cost to buy Misopostrol and Mifepristone, and then they quickly replied for me to answer the following questions: last menstruation, first pregnancy, allergies to medications, illness that they need to know, my age, and pregnancy results.

I started thinking about how ridiculous it is that I’ve had to go through all of this just to have a procedure that is readily available in other countries, in countries that can give emotional support as well to women who may simply not be ready to become mothers.
I told them I didn’t have pregnancy results yet and asked if I should confirm that I was really pregnant. They didn’t reply. Were they sick of paranoid and neurotic women like me? Who knows.

And so I moved to Plan C, as in Plan Cambodia. Marie Stopes International is an internationally renowned organization that support women who want to undergo an abortion. I emailed them about my case and they responded promptly with a form that I should fill up that would help them know what the best method for me is.

Usually, if you’re 4 weeks in or less, they’ll just use abortive pills. More than 6 weeks in and that’s when they use the surgical procedure — the kind of abortion that our Catholic schools let us see photos and videos of when we were in high school to really show us that it looks like a murder of a child. It costs US$150 for the procedure, or ₱7,500, but of course that excludes the plane ride which, when I checked, was around ₱15,000 for a roundtrip. I also needed to take into consideration food, transport, and lodging costs for a couple of days. Overall, I would have had to prepare at least ₱30,000 to be safe.

Another cost is that I would have had to return to Cambodia two weeks after the procedure for a follow-up checkup — that’s another plane ride and another couple of days in another country, so let’s say ₱60,000. I was set to spend that much though and I’m lucky enough to have that amount ready. I knew I was in an extremely privileged position of even knowing I had options.

I started thinking about how ridiculous it is that I’ve had to go through all of this just to have a procedure that is readily available in other countries, in countries that can give emotional support as well to women who may simply not be ready to become mothers.

I started feeling incredibly sorry and angry for the many women in the Philippines whose lives had to be in danger because they don’t have plans A, B, or C; for the many Filipinas who’ve had to endure being told what they should do with their bodies by judgmental OB-GYNs, by men in power, by our health system, by Catholic schools, by the law, by friends, by their own families.

All of this paranoia happened within the span of two weeks. I was expecting my period on the first day of October and as if on cue, blood came rushing out my vagina first thing in the morning of that day. I bought another pregnancy kit and tested negative.

The thought of being actually pregnant and getting an abortion scared me out of my wits and threw me into the deepest depths of anxiety. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for those who’ve had to go through with an abortion in a country where medical and psychological support is scarce and hypocrisy and judgment is aplenty.

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